Trains

Another email from Pauline took my fancy, this time some train announcements by frustrated London Underground drivers. I know that people complain about Warsaw's public transport system, but after years in London, it was as close to heaven as I could have hoped for, even with its defects. Many of these announcements are similar to one's I've heard and problems are, if anything, worse on suburban trains than the Underground. Drivers talking like this bring a bit of humour into what can be a horrendous experience.

The pictures are taken from a visit to Sochaczew Railway museum, west of Warsaw on the Poznan road and just down the road from the Chopin's birthplace Museum in Żelazowa Wola. There are train journey's into the national park on summer Saturdays (June 25 to September 25 in 2010) and other events with journeys (into October in 2010). Pictures of someone's trip are available here.

From 2004 09 John 07 Train Museum Sochaczew

Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologize for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction.



Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from E & B syndrome: not knowing his elbow from his backside. I'll let you know any further information as soon as I'm given any. {NB for Polish readers, the normal phrase here is 'arse from his elbow' - the driver was being polite.]



Do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is that last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a great time. The bad news is that there is a points failure somewhere between Stratford and East Ham, which means we probably won't reach our destination.



Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the delay but there is a security alert at Victoria station and we are therefore stuck here for the foreseeable future, so let's take our minds off it and pass some time together. All together now.... Ten green bottles, hanging on a wall......



We are now travelling through Baker Street ... As you can see, Baker Street is closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me so I could tell you earlier but no, they don't think about things like that.



Beggars are operating on this train. Please do NOT encourage these professional beggars. If you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity. Failing that, give it to me.



During an extremely hot rush hour on the Central Line, the driver announced in a West Indian drawl: 'Step right this way for the sauna, ladies and gentleman... unfortunately, towels are not provided.'



Let the passengers off the train FIRST!' (Pause ) 'Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care - I'm going home....'



Please allow the doors to close. Try not to confuse this with 'Please hold the doors open.' The two are distinct and separate instructions.



Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that the doors are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself or your bags into the doors.



We can't move off because some idiot has their hand stuck in the door.



To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage -- what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't you understand?



'Please move all baggage away from the doors.' (Pause..) 'Please move ALL belongings away from the doors.' (Pause...) 'This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train: Put the pie down, four-eyes and move your bloody golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your arse sideways!'



May I remind all passengers that there is strictly no smoking allowed on any part of the Underground. However, if you are smoking a joint, it's only fair that you pass it round the rest of the carriage.

The Sun Rising in the South

At least, that's more true than to say it rises in the east, as we always used to be told.



It was yesterday, 8th February, about 7:20am and had been getting light from about 6:00. The sun is rising at 160 degrees, making it 20 degrees north of south and 70 degrees south of east.

14 days before, the sun had risen some 3 to 4 degrees further south.



At the north pole, of course the annual sunrise and sunset are both due south. Where I live in Młochów the latitude is 52.06°. This is roughly equal to Stevenage, well down in the southern half of England and between Calgary and Edmonton in Canada, making it completely north of mainland USA (assuming that excludes Alaska).

Just up the road, Warsaw's climate is humid continental. The average temperature is −3°C in January and 19.3°C in July. January, the coldest month, has an average minimum temperature of -6.1°, whilst July has an average high of 23.8°. Record extremes are -30.7° and +36.4°.

Stevenage has an oceanic climate with an average monthly temperature ranging from +4.5°C (January and February) to +17.5°C (August). January has an average minimum temperature of +2°, whilst August has an average high of +23°C. English record temperatures are −26.1° (close to Stevenage) and +38.5° (further south).

The colder winter temperatures here are no surprise, but I also felt that the summer days here were much hotter than the 0.8° difference suggests. Warsaw's June to August daily maximum is some 1.5° hotter, whilst Stevenage's nights are 2.5° colder.

Edmonton has a relatively dry humid continental climate. Average daily temperatures ranging from −11.7°C in January to 17.5°C in July. January has an average minimum temperature of -16°, whilst July has an average high of 22.8°. Official city record temperatures are −40° and +38.3°, although a minimum of −49.4° is recorded in 1886.

Precipitation level differences are also remarkable. Warsaw's annual 495mm compares with Stevenage's 532mm and Edmonton's 477mm. However, despite the English reputation for wet summers, Warsaw's June to August 66mm level compares with 45mm in Stevenage. This, again, wasn't something I had expected. England does regularly have dry summers and we do have wet ones, but the balance here didn't seem to be right. It's probably just my memory, of course, but I suspect that the regularity with which hot Polish summers are broken for short periods by torrential downpours compares with more regular, low intensity rain in England. If you're thinking of summering in Edmonton, however, its June to August average is 83mm.

The Authentic Taste of Orient, Janki

We went into Janki (pron. Yankee) yesterday (Saturday) for a trip to the cinema (The King's speech) and some shopping. I discovered that TGI Fridays by the entrance to the cinema has changed to become Restaurant Asia, The Authentic Taste of Orient.



It opened on Thursday and they are doing an introductory promotion for 19 zloty. This covers an eat as much as you like buffet meal, which is unmissable value. If you are going to Janki, passing through or just want to go, now is the time to try Chinese Chinese food. I don't know how long the promotion lasts, so don't wait too long.



We were thinking of taking Misia for sushi, pretty much her favourite at the moment and, since it was there displayed on the poster, in we went.



There is a wide range of foods available, including a couple of sushi items, various meats, vegetables, noodles, etc. I only sampled a few items, but it all seemed very good. I must particularly extol the quality of the shrimps in batter, where the batter was fresh, crispy and with that melt in the mouth quality that used to be the hallmark of the batter in a good London fish and chip shop. (I'm sure they came out of the freezer last time I ate in China Town in London.)



The restaurant has been opened by four Chinese men, who were very much present, worrying about how everything was going and giving particular attention to what looked like a couple of Chinese matriarchs (wives?). I asked if I could take photographs, but the owners quickly moved away from me as soon as giving permission, so I didn't get any pictures of the owners themselves. There were some other Chinese customers and waiters, but I didn't want to get too personal, so no pictures of them either. (For those who don't know, Janki is the main shopping centre for Warsaw's large and growing Chinese community.)



It still has the pub-style bar from the TFI days, although it never had a pub atmosphere the times I called in there. (The coffee isn't Poland's best, either.) TFI Janki is intriguingly still advertised for booking on Polish restaurant sites (exclusive 15% discount). It was part of a Russian owned franchise group's - I knew the Polish manager and wonder what is happening to his job. However, I was surprised to find that some of the old staff are still working there - two barmen, at least, recognisable because they look like twins, although actually brothers. For those of you who knew the place, the Roma seem to have gone - the buffet has replaced the area where they used to sit - and there was less noise and disturbance around the bar area than on previous visits. I know some customers found this off-putting.

Restaurant Asia doesn't seem to have its own website and it hasn't appeared on the various booking sites yet. In searching the internet however, I was reminded that Asia (pron. Asha) is also a girl's name. Asia, Janki's photoblog is password protected, but with true loyalty to a good cause and withdrawal symptoms for not putting any links into the post, I felt obliged to point you to some other photoblogs showing Janki's attractions, like that of Izabella (lOOk in tO my eyes):

and, since there was no balancing male site worth including, Sylwia Szadkowska The tattoo looks vaguely familiar in this picture, but I'm not sure where I might have met her.

February Weather, 2010

February, last year ran the range of bright cold days, with snow on the ground:



And dull cold days with snow and mist.



I think the snow started to disappear at the end of the month, but so did I.

The slide show now covers four months, November 2009 to February 2010. Remember to click on the black surround first.

Whilst looking at one of the discussions on Polish Forums, I came across a reference to encyclopedia dramatica's page on Poland. The entries in the encyclopedia are from a hate-filled bigot's (or honest USAns, if you prefer) point of view, with Poland's entry being by far the best of the one's I looked at. One of the politer parts, which I hope won't offend any likely reader here, covers tourism:

Poland is a popular tourist spot, especially among the Germans, who have been visiting it regularly for over 9,000 years, usually choosing to stay for at least 100 years. Renowned German painter and philosopher Adolf Hitler loved the country so much that he built a concrete summer cottage and several summer camps there.

Although I do recognise that people around me can be very sensitive about criticism of our country, I hope the fact that everyone else gets the same treatment will prevent them being offended. (I detect a greater affection for Poland than there is for the UK, for instance. I suspect a friendly, good-humoured resident made significant contributions.) There are lots of nice touches elsewhere, but unless you think references to sexual parts and bodily functions incredibly funny, you may find the whole thing palls quite quickly.

I particularly liked this map from the Europe page, however. I have seen several of these in the past, but I can't remember this one. Its close to what I recognise as London prejudices about many of the countries, but what (rhetorically) is that Eurovision thing all about?

I do like the adolescent (of all ages) silliness of fora discussions. Polish Forum's 'Do Poles pretend to be uppity because they have an inferiority complex?' took my notice soom after I started looking at it. The text was:

I have seen many posts on here about Poles being snooty towards the English and thinking they are superior ... Is it because they are so used to scrounging around that when they come to the US or a western European country like the UK they don't know how to be? My father says that the eastern euros he has come across were all nasty and seemed to have inferiority complexes while germanic or western Europeans were friendly and sociable.

What complete, wonderfully provocative nonsense. I mean, who could possibly think that Germans are friendly and sociable?

Polka on the Island - An Eating Tribute

One of my very favourite blogs on my reference list is Polka on the Island. I was very pleased to hear her say she had won a reward as a Top Blogger Award 2011. I have been waiting patiently to find out what they said about her, but the Expat Arrivals notice just has her on the list without comment. You don't need my comments anyway.

Congratulations, Anna. (Photos from her blog.).

Just one of the aspects I like is, when she gives her Polish view of the English, she often makes me want to give the other perspective, in this case through a post by her on eating habits. Too see how good she is, you can compare my ramblings with her short, pointed comment style.

I was once at a conference lunch, when a colleague apologised for the way he was eating - he was in a hurry. I think he thought I had been staring at this, but in fact I was just trying to figure out what that greyish chunk of meat like substance under some grey-brown sludge was. (After a round table discussion, we asked the waitress, who asked the cook, who told us it was chicken. The Ministry of Economy Conference Centre in Konstancin, if you want to know.) Anyway, I've seen the same thing quite a few times in Poland since, so there wasn't really anything for him to apologise about.

The eating method is rather like a vertical pendulum movement, with the fork moving from the plate to the mouth in a constant, regular tick-tock movement, only interrupted by a few swift movements of the fork on the plate to separate bits of 'meat'. The trick here is to have everything prepared so soft that no knife is needed, there is nothing to slow down your movement and there is minimal chewing to impede intake of the next fork full. Standard Polish cheap canteen (and often other place) fare, that is. Unfortunately, the movement has now the quality of a hypnotist swinging something in front of my eyes. I just find myself watching.

There is a variation to this. I think it provides adaptation to more robust foodstuff where chewing is needed. I last saw this undertaken by a Polish guy next to us on holiday in Italy and there was no rushing involved. It basically involves filling your mouth as full as possible - cheeks bulging, chewing strongly, ingesting the bits that have been chewed enough, and then shoving the next portion of food into whatever space has been cleared in the mouth. The mouth is only emptied after the last portion of food has been shoved in. For some reason, I tend to think of this as concrete mixer eating. This is not as common as the pendulum eating, but that may be because food here rarely needs that much chewing.

I don't want to suggest these are standard forms of eating and, since I did receive that apology that once, it may well be considered uncouth behaviour. However, I have never seen anything like this before, so I do perceive it as a peculiar Polish habit.

We all have our peculiarities, of course. I make a lot of noise when I eat, or so I'm told. I suspect this is because I tend to use both my knife and fork, rather than the fork on it's own. I do prefer to use the knife for both cutting and placing food on the fork, particularly disliking using my fingers as an alternative, but I do see that this might be more noisy. So I guess I'm a bit strange too. Funnily enough though, I have noticed that people in restaurants tend to use my method here as well.

Schools : Euro 2012 Fears and Wage Cuts

I am dreading Euro 2012. The hope that Poland will pass all my expectations and do well, is more than counter-balanced by the prospect that TVP will drown us with another of it's saturation coverages of extremely boring sports events, following it up by repeating every single Polish match several times a week over the following year or so. How many times did I find myself in front of the same set of Poland versus Denmark matches in hand ball/volley ball or whatever it was? I even got to know which match it was after a few minutes, and I hate the stuff.

Fascinating, therefore to read from a Gazeta Wyborcza report (in Polish) that the Ministry of Education is so scared of football fans that they are thinking or rearranging the school holidays to try to stop children running the risk of meeting them. Now, if they'd said that they wanted children to be back at school because, no matter how much they dislike it, they would have a better time in the classroom than watching garbage on TV, I'd be more sympathetic.

An interesting side issue at the end of the report, is that higher education campuses in the right areas stand to make quite a bit of money by putting up football fans. Having their own students living there would be quite inconvenient. I hope they have very good insurance providing cover for damage by exuberant fans.

A long running story, but, nevertheless, also a recent report in Gazeta Wyborcza, is the idea of saving public money by cutting teachers' pay and conditions. In government cost cutting attempts, widely seen as inadequate, teachers are a surprisingly easy target. Indeed some teachers feel that their conditions - hours of work, length of holidays - are generous compared to other workers and are quite understanding of rebalancing this.

What people (including teachers) seem to fail to appreciate, however, is that their payments and conditions need to be viewed as single package. The question is not whether the conditions are generous, but whether the payment is appropriate for those conditions. Are they worth what they are given?

I have no idea what is the right level of remuneration for their work done and don't believe there is any magic formula that can tell us this. It may just be that I haven't followed the debate closely enough, but I have never heard anything on the value for money aspect - discussions just covered 'better' conditions and 'fairness' of allowances, eg paying more to people who work in small town/rural areas, compared to big city teachers. The discussion on this allowance does not seem to be 'is this valuable for our rural, etc schools?' but is instead based on 'since city teachers don't get it, is it unfair that rural teachers do?'.

I do have a personal interest in this, but my underlying fear is that the Polish educational system will suffer. After all, the message to potential teachers that they can anticipate 15-20% cuts (in monetary terms) whenever a government has budgetary difficulties, simply seems to be that they shouldn't take up the profession unless they have no other choice. Its a second, or even third rate job.

I may well be over-reacting. I can see that this may be an important structural reform where public service inertia has failed to adjust an antiquated system to modern requirements. Indeed, I would like to think the Poland is one of the few countries that can face up to challenges like this.

My problem in taking this seriously, however, is my English experience. For nearly all of my 30 years working as a UK civil servant, every new government and virtually every new Secretary of State within each government created a new system of structural change overturning the principles of the last structural change. It was very clear that all they were really trying to do was cut costs, but none of them ever had the guts to face us with a message that we would actually have been much happier to accept and would have been able to manage more easily. Technology change was the primary dynamic in structural change, not political planning. (Can anyone today imagine a time when sending a telegram - text, not morse code, I'm not that old - could have been considered the most effective method of quick international communication.)

The stupid part of all this structural change malarkey was that the Treasury (UK Ministry of Finance) were absolutely clear in their cost-cutting objective. I was therefore interested to see the news - I didn't write down the link - that the current government in Poland was being taken to the Constitutional Court for requiring across-the-board cuts in government department budgets of 10%, or whatever it was. Isn't that the way governments normally work?